i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
