I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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