even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
