just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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