I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize