Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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