Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
