I hate your face
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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