There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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