i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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