and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
