I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
