My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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