I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
