i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
