she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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