you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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