I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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