If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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