Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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