If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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