i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
