I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
