can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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