I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
