Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
