I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
