He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
