tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
