New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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