i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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