Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
