I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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