love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
