Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
