It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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