The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
