all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
