May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
