If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
