I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
