this boner is exhausting
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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