what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
