Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize