So drunk its hurt
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
how does that bad decision feel?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
