Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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