About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for