no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
