god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon