We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.