He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
