This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
