so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
