I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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