Don't you send me to vm
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
