She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
