I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
