OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
