just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My ATM looks so different sober.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
