Sry I called you an 8
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
