you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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