$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
