I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
