I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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